I'v spoke to my soicitor this morning and she still hasn't put the application for this poxy visa in the post. I got an email yesterday saying she needed more information. So I phoned her this morning and he needed no other information she just wanted to tell me the application is in the post today. Which don't get me wrong its good its on the way but it's just 2 weeks late. I feel like everytime I think we're nearly at the end of this long and winding road something pulls us back. Having the application to hand in is one thing we have to hand it in at the consulate yet and wait for them to make a decision which could take up to 12 weeks. I'm really trying to stay positive but finding it really difficult.

I have spent the day again today sat at the computer on facebook in facebook chat. It's so addictive. Its great for meeting new people and make new friends. If any of you got facebook you'll probably know what I'm talking about. Again the weather has been lovely. Not that I've sat out in it. I forgot the other day aswell. It was mothers day here on Sunday and I wanted to say thankyou to my daughter for my lovely presents.

Still no news from the solicitor. I'm hoping and praying that the application comes this week. I just really want to go home.

well I have done nothing for 2 days. I've sat on my backside at this damn computer on facebook and on here. I didn't even get dressed yesterday. I've mustered up the energy to get dressed today and tidy our bedroom and thats it. I've loved every second of it. My daughters gone out with the old dragon, which she loves. I got no arguments and no hassel its been complete bliss. If only everyday could be like this. It's not too hot here today the suns out and there's a lovely breeze. A bit too cold to be sitting out on the balcony. We had thunder and lightening here last week 3 days in a row. The first day it rained but the other 2 days it was sunny and thunder and lightening. The day it rained the street outside was flooded within half an hour and as for the thunder I don't normally like it but we stood on the balcony until it finished and I quite enjoyed it. I have never heard thunder as loud as this was, I don't know if thats because we're close to the sea. My daughter wasn't bothered by it she was more scared of the rain. I've been bitten on my feet by bloody mosquitos again. I think I'm being eaten alive. Its driving mad. Apparently you can't buy mosquito repellant in Turkey, so if anyone has any natural remedies I can use to stop them. I want to make some more jewellery but got no money to buy any. It was keeping me busy during the day. I really miss it LOL!!!!!

I have joined the Tesco diets on line. It seems to be really helpful. I signed up for the medıterranean dıet and the recıpıes are really nice. God knows why I've signed up because with all the stress going on loosing weight is the last thing on my mind.

Sadly the second chick is now dead. She managed to get out the basket during the night and in the morning we found her dead under the balcony dead. she fell 3 floors. I'm a bit gutted it's a good job I didn't name her.

hiya everyone. I haven't been on here for a few days. We had a huge row with my partners brother over the internet, my partner and his brother we're about to throw punches when their mother jumped in between all because we told his brother he couldn't have the laptop for 1 night. So İ decided it wasn't worth the hassle but now he can go fuck hımself. I been trying to go round and read everyones posts and catch up with everyone (easier said than done).

The last 2 days have been spent arguing with the old dragon again (the mother in law, from now on thats her new name) because I got pissed off with her telling me how to look after my daughter all the time. She spent the whole day telling me to put slippers on my daughter when the weathers boiling hot here, so I had a moan to my partner and he told her not to do anything with our daughter don't change her nappy, don't get her dressed, don't touch her. So she got her arse in her hand and wouldn't speak to me again. A typical man relaying the message wrong to his mother and putting what I said out of context. I didn't say for her not to touch her or not do anything with her. It all came to a head yesterday when I told him to get the suitcases I'd had enough I was going. His mother had spent the day stomping back and forth the hall and slamming things down and I'd had it. She didn't want us to leave so she changed her ways.

My partners started smoking again because of all the stress, he can't handle it much longer. He's treated like the personal slave here. He does all the cooking and tidying and his mother and brother do nothing. His mothers always slagging him off to everyone that he don't help her when she does nothing. Things are better between us since he started smoking again, we're not arguing as much. Not really very good when u only been married for nearly 3 months. The last time we argued with his mother she took the gold we had given to us when we got married because we owe them money. In Turkey your given gold and money when u get married because its like an investment, if your short of money you sell the gold. She knows we have no money but she didn't even give us the chance to get ourselves home and set ourselves up and then pay them back. She's had all the money we were given aswell. We haven't had a proper wedding yet only the ceremony no party we plan to have that next year. The thing is no one at home knows we got married only my mum.

I spoke to the solicitor last week and she still hadn't sent the application for the visa because she had been ill in bed all weekend. Nothing to do with it being a bank holiday weekend then? So hopefully next week we'll recieve the application. The good news is that she said all the papers İ sent were fine. So thats something to be thankful for. I can't take the stress much longer!!!!!!!!!!

I've had a good day today. I've done nothing but relax in the sun and it's be boiling. I managed to find a copy of cosmopolitan so I sat on the balcony reading it. It's been lovely. I really fancy some watermelon but you can't buy them until their in season which is a bit gutting.

When we got up this morning one of the chicks were dead unfortunately. Don't know what happened they were both fine yesterday. I want to give the one left a name but I know if I do I'll grow attached which isn't good because we can't take him with us and when we go home he'll be a full blown chicken and we got no where to keep him.

I haven't made any necklaces today. My partner took them to the bazaar to sell and didn't sell one. People we're interested but wanted them for 5 lira which is a bout £2.50, theres no way I was selling them for that and thank God he didn't sell them for that either. I'll take them home to sell if I can't then everyone knows what to expect from me for xmas.

There was an advert on telly yesterday advertising a frying pan and it had a huge piece of steak in it. I would love a piece of steak with chips, onion rings and pepper sauce. I'm feeling homesick but what I miss more than anything is british food. I love Turkish food but you can't beat steak or roast dinner or fish and chips. (wipes her mouth)

Do you know what else I've found (sorry to be crude) I bought sanitary towels and they smell of strawberrys and the wrapers do. Strawberry scented sanitary towels. I think thats amazing. I've never seen them before. Why don't they have them in Britain?

I have found a new love folks. It's called jewellery making. I love it! In the last 3 days I have spent nearly 200 turkish lira buying jewellery. I'm even considering starting to sell it when we get home to make a bit extra money. I think İ've become addicted, but it makes my day go a hell of a lot faster and keeps me busy.

My partner had a surprise for me and my daughter the other day. He come back from the bazaar with 2 little chicks for me and my daughter. They're so cute. We've only had them 4 days and their growing really quick. Their a pair of noisey little buggers aswell. My daughter don't really like them and when we let them run on the floor in the house she gets scared and starts screaming. I suppose she's still a bit young to understand.

I've had a bit of a stressful day today. My mother in law again. She wants my daughter to stop having her dummy and what she does to stop her is put the dummy in red chillie flakes so when she puts it in her mouth her mouth burns and she thinks that will stop her wanting it. Every time she does it I want to knock her head off. What pisses me off more than anything is that she does it without asking me.My daughter is 18 months old and I think still a bit young to take her dummy from her, it's still like her bit of security. I've cut down on her having it in the day, so she's just started to have it at night. My partners told his mother to stop it but she just don't listen. I just think it's better to take her dummy off her slowly than forcing her to give it up, then I would have an unhappy child. She's teething aswell at the moment and dribbling like a good un. Another thing she does is when my daughter is hot and the weather is boiling here at the moment, is give her medicine!!!!!!! What the hell is that all about!!!!!!!!!!! Take a layer off her, if his mother dresses her in the morning she puts 3 layers on her and it could be bloody boiling outside. I don't know how her children survived having medicine poured down their necks when their hot. I know its a different way of life here, I know that I'm half turkish myself but my god I will never understand.

Still no news from the solicitor. I'm praying to god that Monday morning the application will be here. I don't even know if the papers that I sent her were ok. I'm hoping they are. Why has nobody invented a time machine yet so I can fast forward to the day the visa comes and were all on the first plane home. That would be ideal. I'm not feeling sorry for myself at the moment. I found out 2 days ago that my friend has lost her Dad. I can't imagine what their going through but it made me realise there's always some one worse off than you. I think it's thinking like that that has kept me going.

I have been reading on the internet about that bloke in Austria who kept his daughter locked up for 24 years and fathered 7 of her children. How the hell did he get away with it for so long? It's disgusting. That poor girl must have been through hell and as for the poor children. I just can't believe his wife claims she knew nothing about it! She must have known something was strange. What the hell did she think he was going to the cellar for? I would think there is no way she could not have known something. The ignorance of some people. He should be put away for life because he took away the rights of his own child for 24 years and not only that he sexually abused her. Why should he have any rights left?

I've had a good week this week. The mother in law has been nice because my partner told her he was thinking of sending us home. She was going through one of her lets stop talking routine. After that little threat from my partner she was like a different person. She got me flowers, she's cooked food. She still calls my name every 10 seconds but I can ignore that if she don't make my life hell. I'm not getting my hopes up about it lasting. If there's one thing lifes taught me it's you can only trust yourself.

Spoke to the solicitor this week and she said that what she looked at so far from the papers I'd sent her was ok and she's sending us the papers and application this week. So hopefully within the next 2 weeks the application will be in and then It's just a waiting game. Again though I'm not getting my hopes up. God I hope the embassy pull their fingers out.

Has anybody got any tips to stop my hair falling out. I had blond put in and now its coming out in handfuls. Luckily I got no bald patches but I would really like it to stop. So any tips would be greatfully recieved. Thats all I need is to start going bald on top of everything else. LOL!!!

hiya folks, I haven't written on here for a couple of days, I haven't really felt like writing. I'm still on a bit of a downer, things are getting worse not better. I've been arguing with my partner for no real reason over petty stupid things. I'm being ignored by my mother in law again because she had a go at me about losing weight and I got pissed off becuse every day she does it and apparently that means she can ignore me. I know I need to lose weight but she don't need to point out the obvious everyday.

We still didn't hear from this fucking solicitor about this visa. She said she'll contact me within the next week, well it's been a week and surprise surprise nothing. Why do solicitors take the piss, their all full of shit.............. Because I love wasting my life waiting around for her to pull her finger out her arse. I'll be phoning her today and if she's funny with me like she has been the last couple of times I spoke to her, she'll feel the sharp end of my tounge.

I spoke to my Mum the other night and when she got home from work the county council had stuck a big sticker on the front door with super glue to the glass saying that they need to do a check on the gas fire and if they come and theres no answer they'll force entry. Now last year we had our fire checked and they deemed it as dangerous and capped the gas because the tiles at the side weren't secure because they knocked them off while they were putting the new fire in. Every year we have the fire checked and 6 years the fires been dangerous. They said that the fire was leaking dangerous gases, I assume carbon monoxide. It took the council 5 months to come and put a new fire surround in, during winter and with a baby in the house and after numerous phone calls. That was just the fire surround. It took another 2 months for them to put the gas back on. And now the cheek of the twats. They come a make threats to force entry after last year. What a bunch of dick heads. There just a load of jumped up pricks. I don't know who the fuck they think they are!